Paisen (26), a YouTuber, who continues to send out gals on the YouTube channel "USATANI Utasani Paisen Gal Textbook" while working as a popular model under the name of Sayaka Iwamoto.She has been talked about in May this year, "Someday, live, live in a flashy manner", but the underlying of her wide activities is "a year that continued to think about death."。
A word of your mother
I gave an essay in May, but I originally liked the book.When you're depressed, go to a bookstore and buy a new book.And it was the usual flow to incorporate a positive feeling into myself.It may not look so much (laughs), but that has been going on for a long time.
So, on the contrary, I had a vague feeling that I could write a book that everyone could pick up at that time.
But it's not easy to actually publish a book, and if you think it's a story of a distant world, you've got acquainted with you about two years ago, "I definitely made my thoughts so far.I was recommended. "Actually, the publisher also introduced it, and from that point on, the story went on.
Writing about myself so far was also a time to face myself so far, so it was a chance to reconsider various things.
I really liked watching magazines since I was a student, and I bought a number of clothes and cosmetics on it.But I just longed for the model and didn't feel like going to the world.
Meanwhile, when I was in high school, my mother told me, "If you like that much, you should aim for a model."With this word, everything has changed dramatically.I can aim for that ...
I think the mother had many thoughts on the words.
When I was in my first year in high school, I was the most rough, I didn't come home, or even when I got home, I almost never talked to a gal magazine.From the mother's point of view, it seemed that there was something in the situation, and after many years, when I asked my mother, "I just wanted you to find a dream anyway. I wanted you to get out of my life at that time."
When I was in elementary school, my dad and mother separated, and I lived with my mother and sister, but eventually I couldn't get home.I was in a bad relationship with my mother, or I had no contact.
If you make your mother, you want to change the situation.I think it was a word from that thought, but that resonated with my heart.I changed my senses at a stretch, and until then I was very fat, but I lost 16 kg and entered the model office in Tokyo.
I just die
What I actually felt in the model world was that it was "completely different from what I thought."When I came to Tokyo, I thought that everything would be a glittering world, but I couldn't communicate with people around me because of my shyness.
And if you think you can live a rich life in a real story, there is no such thing.A completely different life began from what I thought.
Under such circumstances, I became sick of panic disorder.If there are many people like Shibuya, you can't walk unless you wear earphones and sunglasses.
I can't sleep at night.What happens if you die, even if you want to sleep?What does it look like when you die?Whether the cells die, the brain dies, or the eyes die ...If you actually die, what will happen after that?I came to think about death.
I've been in Tokyo for about a year, but there are various encounters there and I can manage to reach the present.
One is the song "3" by a singer -songwriter Haji →.11.I knew.I was from Fukushima, and I decided to think deeply about the Great East Japan Earthquake.
It's a miracle that I'm alive like this, and it's not all about talking or moving.If you feel thorough and live, make full use of it.I thought so.
And it was really big that my favorite senior Nomoyo (Yayoi Nemoto) was in the same office.
Please really get along with me as Pepay.When I took a picture together, I wrote the letters on Purikura, "We are the number one."I was so happy that I cried on the spot.
I'm alive and blessed with wonderful people, so let's live thoroughly.There is no dying.Then I will live hard until then.That's what I think is the strongest right now.
Gal to the world
I wasn't in a blessed environment.But if you really want to do it, don't give up.And build up what you can do.I think that is important.
Return your work email earlier than anyone.Once you have a questionnaire, write the contents stronger than anyone.I don't think it's difficult, but I will continue.I wonder if that will lead to the next one.
I changed when I came across a gal, so I would like to spread the word gal as a common language (laughs).
And if you live until the age of 80, I think it would be a world where you can usually accept a funky grandmother at that time.
I think it would be a hot topic if I had a funky grandmother now, but it will be a common form without being talked about.Everyone can enjoy what they like.I'm sorry for Ella (laughs), but I think it would be such a world.
(Shooting, Masao Nakanishi)
■ Paisen
Born on December 15, 1994.Born in Fukushima Prefecture.In 2012, it became an exclusive model for "RANZUKI", and has been expanding its activities to "ageha" and "LOVEGGG".In addition to the name of Sayaka Iwamoto, who has been using it as a model since the end of 2016, he has also started working as a Paisen on YouTuber.In 20 years, he became the "Aikafukushima Tourism Exchange Ambassador" in Fukushima Prefecture.In May this year, he published an essay, "Dying someday, live flashy."